Do we still need beauty pageants?

Before I address that question, please allow me to set the scene. The year is 2007. Climate change is a serious problem. Greece is burning to a cinder. An idiot is in charge in the White House. NASA astronauts are traveling across the US in nappies. Australians are worried about horse flu.

Do we really need beauty pageants in this day and age? Are they necessary or even useful? Watch the embedded video and tell me what you think:

Ahh, the irony. In response to a question re: the idiocy of the American population, Miss South Carolina demonstrates said idiocy first hand.

So, do we need beauty pageants? Well, what do they provide? We get to look at pretty women in dresses and swim suits, and then then get to listen to them fumble their way through thirty second, idealistic answers to complex questions (or in this case, simple questions). At the end, a few of them cry and one wears a tiara. Every now and then, a contestant falls on her ass or loses her words, we laugh, it's all good. But, I mean, it's such a waste of time and money.

So why don't we just cut the bullshit? No one cares what the contestants have to say. No one gives a shit. That's why they have the swim suit section. It's all about tits and arse - not that I'm judging pageant viewers. But, if we expect pageant contestants to come up with answers to social, educational and environmental problems, then we're in a whole heap of trouble. Personally, I think we should ban pageants altogether. But, if we keep them, then the format must change.

Emphasis should be placed on efficiency, and giving the people what they want. Under my proposed system, each contestant would have 10 seconds to walk out in a robe, flash the audience, and then get off. This way, we could get through 50 contestants - that's 100 tits and 50 assess - in eight and half minutes. The winner could be crowned as the credits roll. The whole thing would take 10 minutes. It could be on at half time during Friday night football. Noice!